Heartbreak

This morning, my little seven year old was toasting bagels for an early breakfast. His little sister who is five was sitting at the computer when he said "This smell of burnt toast an' coffee reminds me of bein' at Granny and Gramps' house. 'Member that, Mimi?"

"No," she said nonchalantly. "I didn't go. I was just a baby."

I realize that it's true. When my parents were still married, she was so little. It's been almost two years since the divorce, and she may never know my parents as a couple.

Uly, hair shaggy and bleached, freckles under his big blue eyes, explained to her. "It was, like, the funnest thing ever! Even better than a birthday!" And he turns back to the bagel that has just popped up, and Mimi returns to her computer game.

 

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Hero Daddy

Inspired by: http://time-warp-wife.blogspot.ca/2013/04/husbands-make-best-kinds-of-heroes.html?pfstyle=wp

This is the kind of hero my husband is - worked in a lock down facility for mentally disturbed teens and had no problem singing a big 300 pound boy who was mentally around 2 or three to sleep (and my dh doesn't sing.)

- as a principal, notices that a mentally handicapped mom and her son only have one winter coat between them, and buys them another one so they can both leave the house together, saying "someone donated it"

- realizes that a family has had hearing aids paid for by government medical help, but they don't cover the batteries, which are 100$. So, again, "someone anonymous" buys them.

- cuddles our little baby girl til she falls asleep sprawled across his chest.

- never once says anything when i forget to book the UHaul for our move, just moves into problem solving mode (!)

- prays with me, for people, with his children, for us.

- hears about a fun fitness day at the park, and grabs our five littlest, me and the camera for a fun day with littles.

- teaches the boys safe weightlifting technique in our garage gym...

I love this man, and i love hearing about other husbands and fathers who buck the trend of slacker dads, and who are full of integrity, honor, and kindness...

 

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Fitness Day!

We have two weeks, roughly, til our move to the farm. And I'm jittery and excited. So when Saturday rolled around, i had a plan to pack up the mini kitchen in our basement (homeschool science lab) and do some cleaning. It was snowing, again, and the littles were in and out with the boots, jackets and mitts, shoveling the walk even as the white stuff whirled around them, filling the air with crystal.

Then T mentioned that there was supposed to be a fun day at Muskoseepi Park. "I wonder how many people will show up? We'd probably win all the prizes if we go..."

Well, we bundled up our five littlies and drove out. We parked, and signed in, receiving a passport that needed to be signed at every booth. One booth was luging, another tubing in the snow. We tried cricket, disc golf, a race where you ran and screamed, and when you ran out of air, you dropped a beanbag. We tried parkour and fly fishing, munching on healthy treats like yogurt tubes and mini cucumbers.

At the end, they had fun in a bouncy castle, and we had a polaroid taken for our passport. When we'd had all the outdoor winterfun we could, we went back to the sign in station, and got ballots to put in boxes for the prize of our choice. Most of the ballots went to a family picnic set (including a huge new BBQ, but a few went into the big kid strider bike.

Our littles came home with red cheeks, treats, waterbottles, pens and pencils and the tiredness from having a great day, skipping outside with their daddy.

And i still got that mini kitchen packed up!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Spirit of Heaviness

I'm so thankful for a childhood filled with scripture songs. We are at a church where we sing mostly hymns from the Cantus Christi, or choruses by Jamie Soles, in which he mainly sets large portions of scripture to music. It's been a blessing to my littles who often fall asleep with one of his CDs playing in their bedrooms.

One song that is on my mind today is Beauty for Ashes:

He gave me beauty for ashes

The oil of joy for mourning

The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness

That we might be trees of righteousness

A planting of the Lord

That He might be glorified

-Robert Manzano

The Bible passage Mr Manzano quoted is one of my favourites -

The Year of the Lord's Favor

Isaiah 61

1The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me; because the LORD hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound;

2To proclaim the acceptable year of the LORD, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all that mourn;

3To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified.

4And they shall build the old wastes, they shall raise up the former desolations, and they shall repair the waste cities, the desolations of many generations.

5And strangers shall stand and feed your flocks, and the sons of the alien shall be your plowmen and your vinedressers.

6But ye shall be named the Priests of the LORD: men shall call you the Ministers of our God: ye shall eat the riches of the Gentiles, and in their glory shall ye boast yourselves.

7For your shame ye shall have double; and for confusion they shall rejoice in their portion: therefore in their land they shall possess the double: everlasting joy shall be unto them.

8For I the LORD love judgment, I hate robbery for burnt offering; and I will direct their work in truth, and I will make an everlasting covenant with them.

9And their seed shall be known among the Gentiles, and their offspring among the people: all that see them shall acknowledge them, that they are the seed which the LORD hath blessed.

10I will greatly rejoice in the LORD, my soul shall be joyful in my God; for he hath clothed me with the garments of salvation, he hath covered me with the robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom decketh himself with ornaments, and as a bride adorneth herself with her jewels.

11For as the earth bringeth forth her bud, and as the garden causeth the things that are sown in it to spring forth; so the Lord GOD will cause righteousness and praise to spring forth before all the nations.

A friend recently reminded me of those verses, indirectly. She was counselling a mutual frind who was having trouble with anxiety, and reminded her that the Bible speaks about a spirit of heaviness, and a spirit of fear, neither of which are from God, and both of which should be rebuked.

God has been unfolding this truth to me in my daily Bible meditations, and it was amazing to me that I had overlooked the spiritual side of my struggles lately. I am still struggling with my parents' divorce, and the huge huge aftereffects that totally transformed the landscape of my life.

I have been hearing His voice, promising freedom, but panicking that it might not look how i wanted it to look.

But i am feeling that freedom, and i am learning to ask my Father to lift that spirit of heaviness from me when i feel it descend in a heavy coat of sighs and settle.

I am so grateful for friends who will speak the words of life to me!

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Hurtling through space

Yesterday, we took my dad out to "the farm". It's not ours yet, but that feeling in the pit of my stomach is there every time we come around the curve in the road. My heart beats like crazy, and i just can't wait.

Seems like so much in life is that way - anticipation of the good things ahead.

But while i'm waiting for that one good thing, I'm enjoying the days leading up to the move. We've had visits from both sides of grandparents, birthday parties, baby showers, good needful conversations, cozy planning sessions, vegging time with my big boys, a needed spring break. T still has work to do on his master's course, and it's so close we can taste it - the end of June beckons like a "get out of jail" card while we play the monopoly game of daily life to get around that board and be done.

Especially now, with my "littles" getting closer to the end of homeschool, i feel the rushing passage of time. It feels like we are hurtling through space at a breakneck pace, and i'm hoping we prepared well enough for the next stage. And even though i would slow down time just a little, to savour these days, that farm makes me wake up tingling and jittery and ready to jump into the flow to get there.

 

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Heifer Diary

I've been reading two other Canadian blogs lately. Heiferdiary.blogspot.ca is one, and northernhomegarden.com is the second. Heiferdiary is a homey blog detailing days in the life of a homesteading mother, and i love reading it and thinking, "I could do that!", or "I'd like to try!". Northern Home Garden is a blog started by a fellow Albertan as a way to improve her English, but she is a fun communicator, and fills her blog with pictures and detailed explanations, so even though her garden is in town, it's still useful to me. She's a great example of thinking creatively, with a geodesic dome greenhouse in the backyard of their rental home!

They are both so inspiring to me lately, and i think my heart might explode if i feel any more inspired! We're moving at the end of the month, and it seems incredible to me, still, that this is happening.

Last week we moved some bulky things out already, to space that the Kalinskys made for us. Armchairs from Oma and Opa joined our area, along with tools and books and other goodies when they visited this week, and they loved tromping around with us, seeing the place for the first time. Today my dad gets here, and sometime during his visit, we'll take him out and show him our place.

Every time we visit or bring more stuff out, the children are more inspired about the possibilities. They are getting used to the dog, Pippin, who will be staying, and each of them has their own plans: Ulysses dreams of a watermelon garden that's all his. Anaia dreams of owning rabbits (and may have her wish granted by her Opa), Silas had an interest sparked in masonry and rock work through a discussion with his Oma, Wyatt is ready to get a hunting license with his dad, Haven wants to build a treehouse, and it seems the wide open spaces encourage little people to get outside and stay outside.

Now if Mielle can get over her fear of animals, we'll be set.

I'm counting the days and trying to ignore the constant snow...

 

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The Big Clean

Lately, I've been a bit behind. Finally got caught up on the laundry, only to have two children dump their roomfuls of everything in there...

And then, the realtor gave me two days to get ready for pictures! Spackling, scrubbing, painting, vacuuming, mopping, laundry, laundry, laundry, packing (because the less i have unpacked, the less there is to get messy.

And we got so much done!

After three days solid of packing and cleaning, i'm ready for a break! But, what if someone wants a viewing now? And i'm back to my trusty tape gun, laundry room and spray bottle...

 

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